As Mercury stationed direct last night, and the moon prepared to be new, I laid in bed awake, listening to frozen rain pelting the window of the cozy guest bedroom we were lucky enough to inhabit. I spent the better part of the early morning hours meditating on the journey we’re about to embark on, the risks and rewards that will soon be coming my way, what I have done to curate the life I’m leading, and what I need to do to prepare for the future I want and believe I deserve. I have been writing publicly more this year than ever before, and I’m so grateful for the companies and individuals that have trusted me to tell their stories, and for those that read my writing and are eager for more. I have been actively focusing on my yoga practice in the last few months, if not making it to an organized class, at least stretching and bringing my awareness to my breath, prana, and intentions throughout the day. In the last few days, I have been very mindful of my self-talk and the way I speak of myself to others, and while being mindful hasn’t always stopped me from degrading or shrinking myself, it has brought my awareness to the prevalence of that speech, which is the first step in making a change.
One of the recurring thoughts I had last night was of witchcraft, and how much healthier I am, mind, body, and spirit when I’m actively practicing my craft. In the year since I moved out of my cottage, I’ve moved further and further from daily craft immersion. My aesthetic changed, my alone time became more sparse, my priorities shifted, and when we started building the bus and moved into Kyles parent’s house, I began to feel displaced. I didn’t have a spot that felt appropriate for my tools or my alter, so they got tucked away in a box in storage. As I meditated, it came to mind that much of my frustration and dissociation as of late has been due to the fact that I haven’t had that centering, grounding practice to provide me with the sense of Who I Am.
Without witchcraft, I am easily adrift. In fact, being adrift is part of what led me to the craft to begin with. Zephyr, Vata Dosha, Aquarius, Air Sign, Sword, The Dreamer. All of these have been used to describe me, and each come with their own flighty qualities. The craft, as I practice it, is about balance. Just as we all contain feminine and masculine energies, we each contain those of air, water, earth, and fire. When I become unbalanced in any way, that’s when problems, frustrations, and anxieties arise. The further out of touch I get from my balancing elements, the more I feel like a flyaway kite; destined to be lost and ripped apart in the tangled branches of some wayward oak.
Tonight is a new moon, the perfect phase to set intentions. Additionally, this week we begin our first leg of our journey on the bus. It seems like a great time to begin anew, reserving space for my craft, and that which I need to feel sane. Morning tarot and continued journaling, yoga and rituals to keep me grounded and focused on manifesting the brightest possible iteration of myself. We made it through a really difficult winter and this past Mercury in Retrograde, hopefully with new intentions, it will be smooth sailing for a while.